Family Portrait

So long story short it became the weekend project to take our own family pictures.

We spent most of the day playing with lighting, as I did test shot after test shot, it was quickly apparent that this was the chief concern. If the lighting wasn't right nothing else really mattered because the pictures wouldn't be good. I have huge windows in my living room and they actually provided too much natural light during the day, I had to wait until evening. I added several softer lamps to get light coming at us from all directions.

Then we had to figure out the best placement of the camera and tripod for the best angle.....I found the best angle was with the camera pointed down on us, just slightly higher than eye level from our sitting position. To accomplish this in the middle of my living room floor I used a pub height dining table chair with a small trunk on it. Putting the tripod (it's just a small one) on top.

We took a nice deep brown blanket and hung it on the wall behind where were going to pose. It made the lighting feel much warmer while making a nice backdrop to our pale skin without being a harsh contrast. It also coordinated with our clothing.

I read up on several articles on taking family portraits and do it yourself bloggers. I would encourage anyone who wanted to try this out for themselves to do so! I never dreamed we'd be so successful.

After 2 hours of shooting we had close to 200 pictures added to my memory card lol. I got right to work putting them on my computer to sift through and find the good ones. Then I did some editing to them and wow! I was super impressed with how well they turned out. It was absolutely worth all the work. My husband and girls were champs being patient as we worked out poses.

Here are a few of my favs:















We may never pay to have pictures done again lol. The great part is all the money we saved, but even better is that these pictures have more meaning, we took them, it was a great family experience.


I feel it is worth noting that while I don't have a point and shoot camera (nothing wrong with them though, there are some really great ones out there!) I don't have a super expensive camera either. I think mine was about $250, it's a fujifilm. I'm not really camera/photo savvy enough to be able to tell you why it's a good camera or not lol. But I think with enough playing around any decent camera could pull off some decent photos. There are some great free photo editors out there as well. These pics were edited with photobucket (http://photobucket.com/) but I also have found picasa from google (http://picasa.google.com/) and I think I like it better (you can pay to use premium tools through picnik as well which is pretty cool).

On Deck

Deployments are hard, separations are hard. I never expected them not to be, but what I didn't give much thought to was preparing for them.

I got a crash course in this just before basic training. What stands out in my mind was when my husband started getting out of bed in his sleep to go sleep on the couch. He was starting to prepare mentally and separate from me/us emotionally. It was difficult to deal with, at a time when I wanted to cling to him for all the time he would miss, he wanted to pull away to make the separation easier. The day he left for boot camp was one of the most emotional, saddest days of my life. I never expected it to hit me that hard.

So when deployment #1 came about I braced for the worst......but it was difficult to think of it in itself since we had just moved overseas and had not even settled in yet when he was set to leave. There wasn't much time to prepare and agonize over what was going to happen. There was simply gone. I was a bit more seasoned at him being gone at that point and it wasn't so scary like the first time.

With deployment #2 looming we had a lot of time to think and prepare. I was apprehensive not so much to the deployment but to the before time. I'm wise enough now to know that deployments and separations start affecting a family and marriage well before the good bye takes place. Largely I think we might be getting the hang of this, or maybe just me as I'm the emotional one. I have moments but if I didn't have at least that something would be wrong. I'm not clinging so much anymore and he's not pulling away so hard.

As I saw other families start the deployment I can't help but feel that even though I dreaded it......it was time to join them, time to do our part again. There is something about knowing you're not the only one and knowing you aren't alone that makes it infinitely more bearable. Kinda like soldiers form a bond and get through it together, spouses do as well. Not quite the same, but more in understanding that when we pass each other in everyday life we are all quietly facing the same struggle. It feels like my place is with them and not so much my husband anymore. I guess I am more ready than I realize.

I never knew that waited for me that day he left for basic, had I known it might have been easier to bear, but then that's part of the learning process. If I didn't know what it was like to face a good bye alone perhaps I wouldn't be able to appreciate my sisters in arms so much now.

To those of you already started and those of you on deck, we have each other and that is enough to get through.

Making Sense of the Senseless

I crave understanding.

It is built into who I am, it's not something I can turn off.

When I understand something I can deal with almost anything.

Sadly there are some things in life that you just can't really understand. No matter how hard you try you just can't make sense of it. I find many of these things pop up in the military life style.

I find myself asking 'why' quite a lot. Sometimes I get an answer and sometimes not so much. I'm sure my children understand even less than I do. In fact there is a lot my husband doesn't even understand, he usually cannot answer 'why' when I ask him with anything other than 'just because'. But that's a soldier for you. :)

These days the ability to understand the 'why' behind the events happening around me is diminishing quickly. Far too often for my liking I'm being told I have to endure something else unpleasant 'just because'. It is days like this me and the Army aren't such good friends.

I think it would be easier if I didn't try to understand........because then I could just blindly hate the Army. That is not the case, the truth is deep down I do know there are reasons behind everything they are asking of myself and my family, and even though I want to hate them, I simply cannot. So then I'm conflicted which creates more emotions in an already over emotional person haha. Then normal annoyances become much bigger annoyances until there's a meltdown over a change of plans, or dirty dishes in the sink (laugh all you want now, but it's a big deal at the time :-p).

Once a meltdown hits over something small I know it's time to sit down with myself and do 2 things in this order: 1) Have a good cry. 2) Force myself to rationally look at the situation and accept that I cannot control what goes on around me, I cannot change the course of events unfolding and sometimes it's ok not to understand everything, understanding myself and my emotions is an accomplishment enough.

I also find that finding something you CAN control is helpful, or slipping into a good book. It also doesn't hurt to repeat the serenity prayer to yourself once, twice or a hundred times......however many you need. ;-)

New Year, New Mountain

Forgive me for not wanting to celebrate it.

It's going to be a tough year.....it's our last year overseas, and well missing home is taking it's toll. We will also spend most of this year with our family apart. So my heart will have a home in 3 countries this year......and already I feel stretched a bit thin.


Trying to see the silver lining, I'm looking forward to some quiet time to myself. I'm quite grateful that I don't have any trouble being alone.....although I'd prefer it not be for quite so long but I digress......

At least I do know what's coming this year (well generally).....beyond that is still a mystery. Many roads to take and we haven't decided which one we want yet. Before this time next year I will know and can make a plan. Then I'll feel better, funny how having a plan can make you feel better even though everything might not go accordingly at all.........ah the illusion of control and the power it holds.

Yes I expect the New Year of 2012 to be much brighter, but in order to get there I must get through 2011, so onward and upward, time to climb the mountain.

Why it pays to read children's books

I fell in love with reading as a child. Right around the age of 8 or 9 books enchanted me. Suddenly I could leave my world behind me and see and experience things as someone else, many things I'd never encounter in my lifetime. Naturally fantasy has always been my favorite genre of books. There's just something doing/seeing the impossible that just enthralls me.


Since childhood it has not been uncommon for me to carry a book around. I did slack off on reading once I became the mother of 2 lol but especially since my oldest is reading herself now, I have tried to find more time to read too.



I still find fantasy children's books to be my favorite. I especially loved the Harry Potter series and I cannot wait till my girls and I can read them together. On our last library visit I spotted one of the HP follow up books "The Tales of Beatle the Bard" which is the collection of wizard fairy tales. I have been reading on it here and there, and since it's a relatively small book I've been carrying it around in my purse to read while I wait for various things.



Well Jazlyn's school had a literacy day this week and I wanted to attend since I haven't spent any time in her class at all yet this year. When I arrived the kids were all in front of a rocking chair with hot cocoa and blankets, ready to hear some stories. Then the teacher asked which parent would like to read first, luckily it wasn't me that was chosen first or second. I asked another mom if we were supposed to have brought a book to read and she told me yes, we were supposed to bring our favorite book to read to the kids (or a portion). Man! What a great opportunity for me to share a book that I like.......if only I had read the entire paper sent home though.......

As I sat there trying to figure out if I should just grab Jazlyn's copy of "How To Train Your Dragon" from her desk and read it occurred to me that I did bring a book! I quietly went into my bag and got out "The Tales of Beatle the Bard" and thumbed through which short wizard fairy tale I would read. I ended up sharing the "The Wizard and the Hopping Pot" and quickly became aware that the writing wasn't quite on a 2nd grade level. I'm afraid the reading wasn't all that stellar as I tripped up a little on words because I kept substituting and paraphrasing to make it easier for the kids to understand.

But I think they liked it, especially the boys, they weren't so excited to hear a 'fairy tale' until I told them it was a wizard fairy tale and there were no princesses lol. That cheered them up, and the part about warts too I think. They even grasped the moral of the story was kindness.

That day I was very grateful that I chose to read children's books on my own. I am positive I will never stop.

The Advantage of Being Behind

So since I first stepped foot inside a school (or perhaps even before lol) I have known that I wanted to be well educated and go to college. During my younger years that's as advanced as the plan was.

At about age 14 I was inspired by law and decided I wanted to go to law school. The more I studied gov't and history the more sure of my decision I became. Of course life had different plans for me and I am quite content with the life I have but I am clearly behind on my academic goals. Though I have a wonderful marriage and 2 beautiful little girls to my credit I sadly only have a few college 'credits' to my name.

When the girls were babies I was too busy figuring out life as a mom and wife to stress over it too much. Life was a struggle for a while and I was more concerned with just holding everything together. Now that I am better suited to actually pursue my education I realize most of my peers are 100% done with theirs. I'm behind.

However for the longest time after high school I assumed I would be 'pre-law' (whatever that was lol) or just a political science or history major. While I do enjoy studying those subjects very much now that I have had some more working experience I realize those aren't the best field of study for me.

Because of work experience and volunteer experience I can clearly see I am quite adapt in business. I suppose it's true that your 20s are for finding yourself. After I uncovered this about myself (being adapt at business) I was suddenly happy I didn't waste years pursuing a major I would later not be 100% happy with.

There are certainly cons to being 'behind' but I have certainly found the silver lining and I think it's a pretty good one at that.

*This does not mean I will be starting school on any certain date, but it does mean the day I take it back up is coming sooner rather than later*

Fall Always Makes Me Think of Maine

I've always liked fall. Probably because I always loved going back to school.

It probably seems a bit early for a post about fall but today it certainly felt like fall, not late summer, definitely fall complete with needing jackets and closed toe shoes. It might warm up for a day or 2 here and there but mostly for Germany, fall is arriving.

As it does, the crisp cool air just has a smell to it and it never fails to take me back to the fall that Jason and I moved to Maine. It was so beautiful there and the New England area just felt like the place that fall is best experienced.

Every year when I experience this sensation of smelling fall in the air and being transported back to that year in Maine I feel a slight longing in my heart that tells me some day Jason and I will return. That longing never fails to remind me of the lessons he and I learned on that journey and the bond that was forged from that adventure. It certainly set the tone for our outlook on life for the future though we had no idea at the time.

So while I think it's Maine that I loved so much I have to wonder if it's what Maine represents for me that I love so much. Either way I still want to go back.