I'm Just Tired

So Christmas is coming. We just had Thanksgiving so that's a sure sign. I've been looking forward to Christmas since Jason left before spring began. It's the last big thing before we get to start gearing up for him to return. The Christmas season for me marks the beginning of the end. I've been telling the girls for months, after Christmas, then we can start getting excited for Daddy to come home. But I'm not all that excited for Christmas. It's not a 'bah humbug' feeling. I don't want Christmas to go away or anything, I know how to have cheer and find happiness when my husband isn't here (doesn't stop me from missing him but sadly life does move on). The thought of decorations, shopping, presents, parties, dinners and friends makes me smile. The idea of Christmas coming and happening makes me very happy. The work involved to create the atmosphere, well, does not. Christmas as a single parent is a lot of work, it's a lot of work when there are 2 parents around actually. Christmas as a married but single spouse of a deployed soldier I think is even more work. I have all the kid/Christmas stuff here at home to do alone and I need to bake, wrap and send stuff to Afghanistan as well.....and being overseas I have to wrap and send back home to the states too. Not to mention trying to pull off a few nice things for my friends and fellow spouses here too. I want to do all of these things, but all of these things and normal life things and it being the last stretch of this deployment has me thinking.......can we just go buy ourselves stuff and call it a day?? It's not that my heart isn't happy, it's just that I'm tired. Kinda feel like this: Hopefully I'll find some inspiration & motivation because tired or not, Christmas is coming.